Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?
11.06.2025 17:58
But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.
I was tired of fighting.
You are like me, then.
When Chinese people see my pets, will they think of it as their food?
When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.
I had run out of hope.
And the sadness?
Scientists stunned to see humpback whales trying to send messages to humans - BBC Wildlife Magazine
So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.
It’s still here.
Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.
Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.
It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.
It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.
Anxious-depressed individuals underestimate themselves even when they’re right - PsyPost
You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.
What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.
The sadness was still there.
Have you ever been a victim of gaslighting? What happened?
In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.
I was tired of trying and failing.
Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.
Sharpest View of the Sun Reveals Magnetic Stripes the Size of Manhattan - Gizmodo
What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.
It’s here now, writing to you.
It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.
What's at the center of Mars? Maybe the stench of rotten eggs - Space
So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”
But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.
It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.
Horoscope for Saturday, June 07, 2025 - Chicago Sun-Times
This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.
Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.
Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.
Be who you already are.
For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.